Goin' Back to Dalton
by kats96
Summary: A song parody of "Goin' Back to Hogwarts" from Starkid's AVPM. Doesn't completely make sense, since I tried to fit the lyrics and dialogue as closely as possible.


**Goin' Back to Dalton**

**Blaine: **

Walkin' down these stairs,

I hear the sounds and feel the prayers

Of the Warblers who fear that I won't stay.

Can't believe how great they are,

Even without me, their star,

But still they need me, even though they dare not say.

I know I don't deserve these

Honors they bestow upon me

Here in glee club.

Can't take all of this pressure,

But despite attempts to lecture,

I'm still their stud.

I'm sick of singing while they're in the background.

Why won't someone step up and turn things around?

It's such a mystery, but I will stay anyhow.

I gotta get back to Dalton.

I gotta get back to school.

I gotta get myself to Dalton,

Where everyone thinks I'm cool.

Back to Warblers and dancing and council meetings,

To snapping and clapping and of course to singing.

It's all that I love, and it's all that I need at Dalton, Dalton.

I think I'm goin' back.

I'll see my friends, gonna sing 'til we cry.

Sing all the leads while they harmonize.

No way this year our sound's gonna die,

And it's gonna be totally awesome.

I'll melt all hearts with the sound of my voice.

Defeat all glee clubs, yeah, there's no choice.

We'll win it all, so let's make some noise,

'Cause together we're totally awesome.

**Kurt: **

Yeah, 'cause together we're totally awesome

Did somebody say noise?

**Blaine:**

Kurt, what are you doin' here?

**Kurt: **

Hey, Blaine, sorry it took me so long to get here, I was at McKinley. But, get everything you need, and let's get going.

**Blaine: **

Where are we going?

**Kurt: **

To the Lima Bean, of course!

**Blaine:**

Cool!

**Kurt: **

Grande nonfat mocha, Grande nonfat mocha, Grande nonfat mocha, Grande nonfat mocha!

It's been so long, but we're goin' back.

Don't go for work, don't go there for class.

**Blaine:**

As long as we're both Warblers,

**Kurt: **

Gonna kick some ass,

**Both:**

And it's gonna be totally awesome.

This year we'll take all the glee clubs by storm.

We'll win it all from the way we perform.

**Sebastian:**

But let's not forget that we need to do more than just sing if we want to beat them all.

**Kurt:**

Aw, Sebastian, why do you have to be such a jerk-wad?

**Sebastian:**

Because guys, you've got to learn to live a little! You need to party hard if you want to be fun and spontaneous! Argh!

I may be creepy, but I'm super-hot.

Just look at Blaine, he won't say that I'm not.

What I lack in style, well, I make up in plots,

And, well guys, yeah, that's totally awesome.

This year I plan to be the next Blaine.

**Kurt:**

You think you're cool, but you're really insane.

**Blaine: **

Hey Kurt, don't be hurt, he won't break up our Klaine.

**Kurt:**

And that's cool.

**Sebastian:**

And that's totally awesome.

**All:**

Yeah, it's so cool, yeah it's totally awesome.

We hate each other, and it is no surprise.

Manipulation through smooth talk and lies.

But as you all can see,

The only remedy is how…

We gotta get back to Dalton.

We gotta get back to school.

We gotta get back to Dalton.

Where everything is musicooooooool!

Back to Warblers and dancing and council meetings,

To snapping and clapping and of course to singing.

It's all that I love, and it's all that I need at Dalton, Dalton.

I think we're goin' back.

**Tina:**

Kuuuuurt! You were supposed to take me and Mercedes to the mall to go window shopping!

**Blaine:**

Who's this?

**Kurt:**

Oh, this is New Direction Tina Cohen-Chang. Tina, this is Blaine… Anderson.

**Tina:**

Oh, you're Blaine Anderson. You're adapperdarrendorable!

**Blaine:**

Yeah, and you're Tina.

**Tina:**

Oh, it's Asian Persuasion.

**Blaine:**

I'll just stick with Tina.

**Kurt:**

Come on, Tina, you know I can't go to the mall all the time.

**Sebastian:**

Do you guys hear music?

**Tina:**

Yeah, what is that?

**Kurt:**

Someone's coming.

**New Direction Girls:**

Rachel.

She thinks she's such a star, Rachel.

Self-centered Rachel.

Be the best in glee club, Rachel.

**Tina:**

Whoa, who's that?

**Blaine:**

That's, uh, that's Rachel Berry.

**Kurt:**

Yeah, that's the girl Blaine totally made out with at a party when he was drunk.

**Sebastian:**

Yeah, but he doesn't even play for that team.

**Kurt:**

Well, yeah, but you never do stuff that makes sense when you're drunk, you do stuff that makes you look like an idiot.

**Tina:**

Hey, Rachel, I've been meaning to speak with you. I'd like to do a solo…

**New Direction Girl: **

Impossible! She gets _all_ the solos!

**Kurt:**

That's typical of her. Sorry, Tina.

**Rachel:**

Oh, it's alright. I am the best singer after all.

**Blaine:**

*Sigh.* She's annoying.

**Kurt:**

Yeah, and too bad she's dating Finn Hudson, though.

**Blaine:**

Seriously, who the hell is Finn Hudson?

**Kurt:**

He's my brother, you know? He's just like, huge and tall and…

**Finn:**

Rachel.

I am so in love with Rachel.

From Lima to Westerville.

I'll sing my love aloud for Rachel.

**Blaine:**

Oh, I know that guy.

**Hunter:**

Did someone say Hunter Clarington?

**Blaine:**

Ugh, Hunter, what do you want?

**Hunter:**

So, Blaine, back for another year at Dalton, are you?

Maybe this year you'll wise up and hang out with a higher caliber of Warbler.

**Blaine:**

Listen, Hunter, Kurt Hummel is my best friend in the whole world and I wouldn't trade him for anything.

**Hunter:**

Have it your way. Wait, don't tell me. Mediocrity, slushie-stained clothes, and an air of loser-dom. You must be from McKinley.

**Kurt:**

Hey, Hunter, lay off my friend, okay? She may be a New Direction, but she's my New Direction.

**Hunter:**

Oh, isn't this cute! It's like a little loser gathering! Dalton has really gone to the dogs. But luckily next year, I'll be transferred to a better school.

This year, you bet, gonna get out of here.

The reign of Hunter is drawing near.

I'll have the greatest singing career.

It's gonna be totally awesome.

Look out world for the dawn of the day

When everyone will do whatever I say!

And Blaine won't be in my way,

Then I'll be the one who is totally awesome.

**Random Warbler:**

Yeah, you'll be the one that is totally awesome.

**Sebastian:**

Guys, come on! Stop all this fighting!

**All:**

Who knows how great this year's gonna be?

Sing "Raise Your Glass," "Candles," and "Misery."

**Blaine:**

Maybe even songs by Katy Perry!

**Kurt:**

Oh, no that'd be way too awesome.

**All:**

We're back to sing every song that we can.

It's great to come back to where we began.

And here we are, it's a cappella, man.

Here we go, this is totally awesome.

Come on and sing us every song you know.

We're dressed in blazers, and we're itchin' to go.

**Random Warbler:**

I think we're ready for

The Warblers' Council.

**All:**

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

**Warblers' Council:**

Welcoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooome all of you to Dalton.

We welcome all of you to school.

Did you know that here at Dalton

We've got solo audition pools?

Welcome, welcome, welcome Warblers.

Welcome hotties, nerds, and tools.

Now that we've got you here at Dalton,

We'd, um, like to go over just a couple of rules.

We are the Warblers' Council, and we make all decisions for the glee club.

You can all follow our choices. Of course, you're welcome to offer suggestions if you wanted…

Nope, we're just kidding; we won't even consider them.

**All:**

Back to Warblers and dancing and council meetings,

To snapping and clapping and of course to singing.

It's all that I love, and it's all that I need at Dalton, Dalton.

Back to blazers with piping, striped ties, and songs,

To Sectionals!

Regionals!

Nationals!

Champions!

Back to the place where our story begins at Dalton, Dalton.

**Warblers' Council:**

We're sorry, what's its name?

**All:**

Dalton, Dalton!

**Warblers' Council:**

We didn't hear you guys!

**All:**

Dalton, Dalton!

**Blaine:**

Man, I'm glad I'm back.


End file.
